I found the book Consolations For My Soul at Hastings last night in the Capital City. The Catholic section here is mind-blowing. I found a Benedictine breviary (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) for $50 that I made myself NOT get. I also found How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job: An Invitation to Oblate Life (Voice From the Monastery) that I also wanted to get, but made myself leave it behind. Sadly.
At any rate, Consolations for my Soul was done by Thomas A Kempis, and I had never heard of it until tonight. But I picked it up and read parts that I felt I needed to read the most. It’s an interesting book. It’s a conversation at times, between the Soul and the Lord and the Soul and Mary (who he calls “Lovely Lady”). It can be read cover to cover, but since it’s a lectio divina book; you can read various parts of it and pray on them (which I did). There’s sections in there called “Pining for the Beloved” and “Remembering a Friend” or “Hailing Mary”. It’s amazing.
In all this Drama with the medical and emotional, God has been very talkative. Some parts I remember, some parts slip my mind. But in all this He asks me “How much do you love Me? Do you love me enough to give back to Me something you cherish so much? Are you willing to trust that I know what is best, even if it means taking away from you someone that you love so dearly? And are you willing to trust Me, even though the doctors have no clue what’s wrong. I do. And there will be another burden, a bigger one than this to bear. Will you still trust me then?”
All the important questions God seems to be asking me as of late. But good things, too. He told me that I should talk to the following people: St. Monica (she’s been heartbroken over St. Augustine, pre-joining the Church days), Our Lady of Sorrows (obvious), and St. Bernadette obvious). He said that Our Lady and the Saints miss hearing from me. They love praying for us all, they love hearing from us so they can present our petitions to Him. While He (obviously) doesn’t want Saint/Mary worship, He does want me to talk to them.
