One Flesh, One Heart, One Soul

Posted on | January 11, 2007
by | Kim, Obl.O.S.B

Friends,

I’m sure this will probably take some by surprise, it most definitely took me by surprise. My last relationship ended and I was not in any mood to start dating. Before the last relationship ended I had thought a lot about the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and decided at that time that I was not ready for what it entailed. I was correct — at that time, I was not ready for what it calls the spouses to do — help one another get to Heaven, as well as what children are entrusted to their care.

It seems that once I figure out something that I want, God decides otherwise. I was not in any way, shape, or form wanting to date. I was planning on visiting some convents this semester and determine whether or not I was called to the religious life. On the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, my entire life changed. Our Lord got my attention — in a big way. After Mass the twenty-somethings all went out to pizza and I found myself sitting across from a guy who provided rather good company. Eventually, we decided that we should enter into a dating relationship.

Through a LOT of praying on both our ends, we independently came to the same conclusion. I can only attest that to God, giving us both the same message but in different methods that He knew we would understand clearly. The hard part, for me; was actually trusting Him. When I realized that the Church is where He wanted me, I ran as far as I could from it. When I was exploring Third Orders and came across the Benedictines, I ran from them. Obviously, I came back to both the Church and the Benedictines. But after those experiences, I am tired of running and fighting God. It makes no sense. What He wants, He will get in the end. I find it much easier to just be open to what He wants and to just trust him like a child.

The same conclusion that we came to is that God was calling us both to the married life, and that we were being called to each other.

I will be up front and say that that scared the daylights out of me. Human reaction, what can you do? The more we went and visited people, the more people said that we gave off “good vibes” or things like that. We both discussed this whole marriage idea, and understood that if this was not the will of God that there would be obstacles all over the place. However, any obstacle that we thought would be in our way – buying the engagement ring, telling our families, getting the church we want to be married in scheduled, pre-Cana, etc — all those obstacles came down practically instantly. We even were able to get the priest that we want to officiate, to officiate.

On January 4th, 2007; this gentleman asked for my hand in marriage (after much discerning on his end) and I gave it to him. We have our date scheduled — it will take place in the month of October, the month devoted to the Holy Rosary. It’s fitting, given that Our Lady has been such a help in our relationship. We are already busy on details for life after the wedding – where are we going to live, what bank to put our money, etc. We’ve discussed NFP (we refuse to go any other way) and parenting childing (like, his views on disciplining them).

He is everything that I never could have ever imagined. He compliments me — for what I lack, they are his strengths. He has helped me in my spiritual life, introducing me to such things as the Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel (appropriate, given who my patron saint is for 2007 ) and praying the Rosary with me fairly regularly. Together we read each other Scriptures and attend Mass frequently. When I am with him, I feel entire peace and tranquility.

Everything won’t always be peaches and cream, especially right after we get married. There are going to be ups and downs, lefts and rights, backwards and forewards. However, our relationship is a triangle – God at the top, us at each side. As we grow closer together, we should grow closer to God. And we know that as long as we keep Christ the focus of our marriage – the rock on which our relationship is built.

So. That’s part of the reason why I’ve been so quiet – processing, praying, and thanking is what I’ve been up to. I hope to get back to more frequent writings soon.

Pax!

Comments