Growing through devotions

I think I read on the Catholic Answers forum that some people tend to be drawn to certain devotions that in God’s timing, work well for them because of what He has in store. Some people find strength, others find healing, still others find discipline and other spiritual treasures when they begin a devotion, then stick with it in times of spiritual dryness.

The last time I went to the Big City Down the Interstate (everything is down the interstate from me, it seems); G and I stopped off at the Catholic bookstore there. I picked up Devotion to the Sacred Heart Of Our Lord Jesus Christ by Jean Croiset, S.J. I started to read it, but then ran out of time. So I finally found some more time and picked it up. I decided to begin in the middle of the book, where it talks about obstacles that can prevent someone from cultivating this devotion, how to overcome them, etc. I’m drawn to the Passion of Christ and what some may consider the more “gorey” parts. I’ve had a lot of issues in my past, so the suffering Christ tends to be how I connect with Him. I don’t have a deep devotion to the Sacred Heart, but perhaps this book will help me.

At any rate, the book has caused me to do begin some self-introspection, some journeying within to determine obstacles of my own that prevent me from getting closer to Him. I guess the whole culture of Catholicism promotes this introspection and this constant conversion of the heart and constant purification of the humanly things that are sinful. It’s proving to be hard and refreshing at the same time. Hard because excuses can no longer work and I must learn to see the faults that keep me from Him, and begin to conquer them.

Another book that I am finding helpful in this journey is Fr. Thomas Dubay, S.M.’s book Deep Conversion/Deep Prayer. It’s short but loaded. I’m not done reading it, but Fr. Dubay discusses conversion – from bad to good, good to better, better to best — that sort of thing. So many people are able to turn away from mortal sins, but struggle when it comes to turning away from venials. He discusses the question of “if people love God, then why do they cling to behaviors that hurt and offend God” in a very no-nonsense but peaceful way. He offers no buzz words or psychological quick-fixes. Only Jesus Christ’s Gospel can provide people with the peace and beauty that the body and soul were created for. Fr. Dubay is truly a channel for the Holy Spirit to work through.

In these two books, I found it possible to quiet myself down and listen to the Holy Spirit. It turns out that there was a well of residual guilt (not “Catholic guilt”, mind you), but residual guilt that had been stored up from my pre-Catholicism years, as well as guilt inflicted on me by others. Even though I’ve been through Confession and that I trust in God’s mercy, I still kept guilt around. There’s really no reason for it, other than the Evil One hitting it like a miner hitting the mother lode when needing something to use against me. This well of guilt had slowly crept itself into my life and left unchecked, would have grown like a weed and choked out what’s important. It already had begun to.

Getting that out and getting that discussed has proven to be helpful. I don’t feel nearly as agitated but much more peaceful and less frustrated at work. It’s a comfort, to finally begin to figure out things that are in the way and begin to get them out of the way. I recommend both of the books (although the Sacred Heart book may be harder to get than Fr. Dubay’s book). At the very least, check out Fr. Dubay’s book from the library or order it from Amazon. Read with an open heart, and who knows what God will do.