Mind vs. Heart
Posted on | February 10, 2010
by | Kim
Matthew 6:25-34 really needs to be my focus for the next 5 weeks. I have been overwhelmed with worry and anxiety, mainly with Little One. Everything is fine, fine, fine at the last pre-natal appointment; but I’m overly concerned about whether or not the baby is head down. My OB will check at the next appointment (in 2 weeks), and from the kicks I’ve been feeling I think we’re in the right position, but I’m not entirely sure. I suppose it’s something entirely silly to be worrying over, but alas; here I am and that’s my worry right now.
I like to try to let God take control whenever I can (as I’ve found it it’s so much easier that way) and to me, this worrying about Little One’s position (unfounded, no less) implies that I still haven’t fully given up the control of this pregnancy. While the chances are slim that Little One is in a wonky position and will stay there until delivery, what if that’s what the Good Lord wants? How am I reacting? Is worrying going to change how Little One is positioned? Probably not.
Also high up on my worry list is “how am I going to do this?!?!?!?” With the due date coming closer (and closer, and closer), I guess I’m starting to get those pre-birth jitters and worries. How am I going to wrangle two kids into the pediatrician’s office? How am I going to make sure both kids get enough time with each of us (especially Elise)?
My heart knows that I will be able to wrangle two kids into the pediatrician’s office and everything will fall into place like it did with Elise. I know that whatever position Dr. M finds Little One in at 36 weeks is the will of God; and if the baby is breech (I’d be shocked at that) or transverse (I wouldn’t be shocked at that), we can work on moving to a more head down position or just proceed from there. Hopefully Little One will be head down and all my worrying will be in vain. 
If I remain open to God and His grace, I’ll survive the last part of this pregnancy and recovery on top of that that delightful “feed me around the clock!” newborn stage and the Terrible Two’s In Full Glory and potty training and ….
The hard part is convincing my mind, in all reality. Maybe that’s how the Apostles felt at the Crucifixion – perhaps they believed in their heart that Christ is the Messiah, but after they laid Him in that tomb – did their minds ever think “okay, this guy is dead, there’s no way he can be the Messiah.”
I think the two biggest things I should keep in mind (always, not just during pregnancy) are “I am not in control” and “Jesus, I trust in You.“
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Now Reading
Planned books:
- Salt of the Earth: The Church at the End of the Millennium: An Interview With Peter Seewald by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger
Current books:
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Seasons Of The Soul by Concepcion Cabrera de Armida (Conchita)
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Finding Sanctuary: Monastic Steps for Everyday Life by Abbot Christopher Jamison
Recent books:
- I Am Hutterite: The Fascinating True Story of a Young Woman’s Journey to Reclaim Her Heritage by Mary-Ann Kirkby
- 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke
- The Salvation Controversy by James Akin
- Parenting With Grace by Gregory Popcak, Lisa Popcak, Foreward by Dr. Bill and Martha Sears
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February 10th, 2010 @ 6:15 pm
Pelvic tilts!
And I’ve been counting on you to tell me “how it’s done” with two little ones. (; I have the same anxiety, especially with regard to EVER SLEEPING AGAIN.
February 10th, 2010 @ 7:25 pm
Believe you me, I have the Spinning Babies website bookmarked and utilized often.
I’ll be sure to give you the blow by blow on how things are working. I was up a good part of last night trying to logistically figure out how to get Elise (who likes to walk but much rather be carried) into the ped’s office. I know it’ll all work out (most likely with help from the Ergo or SPoC), but man; my mind is in overdrive!
And let’s not talk about sleep, shall we?