Transitus Tiber » Children

The Great Toy Purge of 2012

Kim — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:40:46 +0000

One of the things I love about This New House is the room. We are finally “settled in” and so now I get to roll up my sleeves and tackle some of the more long-term projects. One of the things I have been dieing to take care of are toys. The majority of the toys were in storage, but now that we’ve moved, they’ve come out of storage. Lest I go insane, I decided after a month of observation; it was time for order and sanity to rein in the toy area.

First, I sorted. Toys that were broken were tossed. Toys that are geared for infants are back in storage. That left a wide variety of age-appropriate toys out. This is where the month of observation came in so handy.

After everything was sorted, I watched the kids play. I watched what they played with, how they played with it, how often they played with it, and so on. Toys that never were played with were donated. I did keep some that I can use for rotation, but the vast majority of the toys left the house.

The toys that are left follow trends – the kids love any and all kind of make-believe toys: dolls, blocks, cars, dollhouses, Legos, the play kitchen, bead toys, puzzles, stuffed animals – that sort of thing. The flashy-flashy toys they tended to play with for a day or two then lost interest in. So, most of the flashy-flashy toys were also donated, but a few kept (such as the Leapster 2 the kids received for Christmas last year).

So now, the toys “for rotation” are in a storage bin in the basement. It’s not clear so the kids can’t see in it and whine for “that toy”. The toys that are heavily played with fit in one – ONE drawer in their room, and puzzles in ONE other drawer.

Everyone is loads happier with this arrangement. I found all of Elise’s dollhouse people and she’s been playing with them for hours. They go to Mass, have fights, make the dog get out of the car, sleep, have babies, all sorts of things. I find this kind of play of Elise’s so fascinating because I know this is how she processes her life. Sometimes I recognize myself in the dollhouse mama and it’s a REALLY good way of seeing how I’m coming off to Elise.

It’s also easier to pick up, because there’s less to pick up. The kids fight less because while Elise is playing dolls, Bennie is usually playing with Hot Wheels. Or sometimes the Hot Wheels and the dolls all play together, which is even better. But, fighting has dropped a lot – especially fighting over toys. There still is the occasional drama over a toy, but not nearly as bad as it was.

Both kids can see what they have and not be overwhelmed with 496569803897 toy options. And the best part – when they’re bored with what’s upstairs, a quick switcheroo is like having new toys. Hooray!

Next on the chopping block is clothing. Oh God, have mercy. I don’t even want to think about clothing, for all four of us; for various seasons. But. It needs to be done, and like the toys; we’ll all be better off because of it. But that’s a later task. Right now I need to just relax!

The 0530 Club

Kim — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:50:13 +0000

I like to think I’m not totally insane for deciding that 0530 is a good time to wake up. In fact, I end up getting a lot accomplished. And, I’ve been faithful to that wake-up time for two weeks now.

It hasn’t been easy – waking up early means going to bed early. It also means getting out of bed – which is usually quite warm and into the day – which is usually not as warm as our bed is.

The coffee maker helps, as long as Greg or I remember to get it ready to brew at 0520. Greg, the always early bird, is usually up before my alarm goes off; and begins to unload the dishwasher while I drag myself out to the kitchen.

The best part of waking up (besides Mystic Monk in my cup)? The time with Greg. We’re (relatively) awake, and can discuss things that need to be discussed without virgin ears in the presence. Or we can pray Morning Prayer together. Or just sit and watch the sunrise. By the time the kids get themselves out of bed, I’m fed and watered, dressed, the kitchen is ready for the kid’s breakfast, I have a load of laundry in, bonded with my husband sans kids, I’ve prayed, read the daily Mass readings, and whatever else needs to be done. I have gotten a lot done, and I can focus on the kids totally as opposed to trying to multi-task.

It works for me. I don’t feel trashed in the evening, like I thought I would. I do admit, I “sleep in” on the weekends … usually up around 0630 or even (*gasp*) 0700.

There’s been a couple other posts about waking up early floating around the Blogosphere: one by Jen and the other by Brandon. I agree with both posts and the points they raise.

Waking up early works for me. It may not for you, and that’s OK. But, if you think you’d like to get up early – give it a shot. I’ll even send you a reminder email if you want, once I peel myself out from under my luscious down comforter.

A Jewel Cake for St. Basil

Kim — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 01:49:54 +0000

Lacy over at Catholic Icing posted this very cute, very simple “jewel cake” for St. Basil’s day. We had a lot of fun assembling it and of course, eating it! Elise was especially thrilled with the jewels inside!

Our jewels waiting to be jewel-i-fied.

Elise helping by making sure all the Jell-O is out of the box.

She also helped me put the jewels into a dish.

After some time in the fridge!

Ta-da! Pretty!

I found a can of spray whip creme in our fridge, and that’s what we used for our frosting. Tasty, fun, and different! We talked about St. Basil and learned a little bit about him, as well.

St. Basil, pray for us!

Merry Christmas, Babies

Kim — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:45:08 +0000

So, it’s Christmas.

It’s been a fun Christmas, except for that dull ache inside me. It’s so hard not to have that ache, when the entire world is focused on the birth of an Infant. It’s hard not to think “boy, I would be 32 or 36 weeks pregnant right now … we would be preparing for our own baby.”

Yes, I have had multiple crying meltdowns over it all this past weekend. It’s so frustrating, especially since some people (well-intentioned) are beginning the “so, when are you going to have another?” questions.

How do you tell them that without injected blood thinners, carrying a child to term is a risky and (as we found out this summer) sometimes fatal proposition for the unborn baby?

How do you tell them that you’re now on a few medications that make having a baby Really Not A Good Idea – and that it may stay that way for a few years.

How do you tell them about the ache inside, the desire for another baby but the realization that it’s just not in God’s time right now?

How do you tell them about the isolation you feel? How you have to ‘get over it’ or ‘keep it together’, depending on who you’re with? How you (still) feel like a freak of nature, and that no one really understands (unless they’ve also been through multiple miscarriages). And that the next time you do become pregnant (God-willing), it won’t be this happy joy-filled time, but rather a time of close medical monitoring, needles, and heightened anxiety?

I’ve found you can’t, rather just hope they don’t notice the misty eyes as I mumble something along the lines of “It’s not the will of God right now.”

To our dear sweet babies, who are so patiently waiting for us in Heaven; pray for your poor Mother who aches to hold you so intensely right now.

And to the Mothers who have walked this extremely painful and lonely road, pray for me. And I am praying for you.

Rethinking Quiet Time

Kim — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 20:47:35 +0000

The other day, I had an epiphany. I’m sure I’m the last person on the planet to figure this out, but at least I figured it out.

My problem was a simple one: why, despite having quiet time for the kids and myself; do I feel so burned out by the end of the day?

Clearly, I had some medical things factoring into that, but even with the depression and panic under control, I still felt burned out. I read a very, very good book a few months ago: The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by Fr. James Martin (and I plan on devoting an entire post in the future to this book, it’s that good). In it, Fr. Martin talks about St. Ignatius’s Examen. If you don’t know about the Examen, here’s a page talking about it.

The Examen really, REALLY speaks to me, on a variety of levels. I had attempted to do it at least once a day, until Fr. Anonymous asked me to focus on something else for the time being.

At any rate, in the Examen I reviewed my day in detail, and noticed something about my quiet time. The kids were asleep (or quietly playing if not asleep), and what was I doing? Anything but quiet time. Sure, I was quiet, but I was busy – very busy.

The epiphany that I came to is simple: make MY quiet time restful, just like the naps or quiet playing is for the kids. This means not giving into the temptation to get everything done that I can, or idling surfing the Internet, or whatever. Sure, things that absolutely need to get done get done – like diaper laundry. But that’s pretty much it. Everything else waits.

I use this time to pray, as best I can. I make myself sit down, realize God’s presence, and pray. I also do my lectio divina at this time, on the daily Mass readings.

Afterwards, I do things that are truly refreshing to me: reading, drinking a bunch of tea, listen to music, writing, that sort of thing. And when the kids are up from their nap or finished playing, we’re all refreshed and ready to go.

We aren’t too strict on Quiet Time is exactly at a certain time, rather we “peg” it to Greg’s lunchtime. The kids know that when Daddy goes back to work, it’s Quiet Time. Sometimes this is problematic when Daddy has a late lunch, but those days are few and far between. The important thing is that Quiet Time happens, and happens after lunch.

I really look forward to Quiet Time now, knowing that I will be able to refresh my soul and my mind and my body, and take a break from “doing stuff”. Relaxation has been hard for me to do, simply because I have been so anxious for so long, that “doing stuff” helps soothe that anxiety. But now that things are getting sorted out, I am beginning to savor relaxing and just resting. It’s something I definitely need and only now have really been working on making sure I get.

The Great ‘Stuff’ Purge

Kim — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:58:00 +0000

Greg and I have spent the last couple of weeks purging like we’ve never purged before. Yesterday we hauled the fruits of our purge to the local Goodwill – literally about half of our possessions. That’s the brunt of it, there are still a few small bags left to purge; but the most of it is done.

We really were able to purge efficiently due to the amount of space we have and a system we came up with. Everything that needed to be sorted through was accumulated in one area. We had a designated trash area and a designated donate pile. It became a matter of sorting.

Things we use regularly were brought into the living area and put away immediately. If there was no spot for it, we had to re-evaluate if we really needed it, or what could we get rid of so that we had room.

Things we use semi-regularly (off-season clothes, for example) were put into short term storage.

Things we think we may need again in the future (such as baby clothes) were put into long term storage.

The bulk of everything else went to Goodwill if it was in good enough shape, or to the dump if it was trash or not in good shape. The overriding thought is if it can’t be stored, do we really need it?

I can’t tell you how freeing this has been. I can tell you to the exact spot where EVERYTHING in this house is. We don’t waste time looking for things and we don’t feel so “hemmed in” by so much stuff. Our biggest problem was that we never had enough room (or time) to do a major, major purge; so in this purge we found things from our college years (or older) – stuff that had followed us around that we never got rid of.

We definitely did now.

Even Elise has been involved, helping us go through things like her eleven million pairs of shoes and nine trillion stuffed animals to “give to the kids who don’t have any”. We want to teach her to give to those less fortunate, that part of our duties as Christians is to help those in need. That there’s more to life than “stuff”. She may not have a steady income to give out of, but she has definitely given a lot of her stuff away. Thanks be to God she is grasping these lessons in a very cute three-year-old way, and it’s showing.

Our goal is to finish organizing the basement by the end of this week. We’re about 80% done, so it should fall together nicely. The kids have plenty of room to play down here, and when it’s all organized; they will have that much more room.

Deo gratias!

Hooray for the House!

Kim — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:18:29 +0000

Now that the house is done, what will I write about? Like I have any shortage of things to write about:

* perfectionism: how it can benefit me, how it can hurt me, and its proper place in my life
* I joined the parish Choir, which means I have plenty of musical escapades going on (and am singing some absolutely gorgeous music)
* making our house a home and getting on a new normal
* one book that seriously reworked my entire prayer life (and shocking, it’s not written by Archbishop Sheen nor is it Benedictine in nature)
* an upcoming presentation I’m giving with the other local Benedictine Oblate about … Benedictine Oblates! If you’re local and want more information, drop me a comment.
* our massive purge of stuff that is so therapeutic it’s not even funny.

We thoroughly love our house and while there was plenty of wank while building it, it was so utterly worth it. It’s so clean, bright, uncluttered, NEW – it truly is a sanctuary for us. The babies are also enjoying it, they have so much more room to RUN and PLAY.

I’m still waiting for reality to set in, right now everything (and everyone) is still in a little bit of a shock, to put it mildly.

Our Washington Vacation

Kim — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 16:45:26 +0000

We had a blast on our vacation. We went to Washington state! The last time I was there was on a highschool orchestra tour. It was nice to explore without a rigid schedule or chaperone.

Our agenda was simple: relax. We did just that. We did take in some sights, checked out the local geology, did a little shopping, and just did absolutely nothing. It was glorious.

Elise and I on a fabulous rock

The kids were amazing in the car (both ways) and we discovered that Larabars are very tasty and filling. And that Qdoba has some mighty delicious Mexican food.

We were able to go to daily Mass twice, which was a real blessing. I love the universality of the Catholic Church, there’s always a Church and the Holy Mass wherever we go.

Bennie scaling a slide

Our vacation was definitely needed and couldn’t have come at a better time. With the miscarriages and the frustration of being almost-done-but-not-quite with the house, it was fantastic to get away for a few days and just do absolutely nothing.

Road Trip Prep

Kim — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 20:07:14 +0000

It’s still a race between what will happen first: finishing our house or going on our vacation. We received some very encouraging news from a neighbor of ours who is a builder about just what we need to have completed to pass the last inspection. It’s a lot less than what we were expecting to have done.

Our vacation is looming and I am (probably way too) excited to go. I am in the planning stages: writing up lists of what to pack for who (it’s the only way I can make sure we have what we need), figuring out meals and snacks, what to do and see, and how to keep everyone happy on the road.

The Packing List

This will be the first time we’ve had a long road trip with both babies. Our trips to the Neurosurgeon were long, but this is a bit longer. When we travelled to New York and California in 2009 I had a packing list that saved my bacon. I intend on taking a day this week to write-up a packing list for each of us, starting with Benedict (the youngest) and working up to the oldest (me). I keep it simple, but have a column to use when packing at our destination. As everything is packed, it gets checked off. What isn’t checked means it’s not packed and we can look for it before we leave. So far we’ve not left anything behind anywhere, which is an accomplishment (in my eyes, at least).

Meals and Snacks

With Elise’s wheat sensitivity, we have basically shied away from all eating out locally. I know where we’re going has a lot more gluten-free options, so we’ll probably explore some of those. The other times (because we’re not exactly in to eating out all the time), we’ll have food from the grocery store.

As of today, our shopping list for snacks on the road looks like this:

Cheese (including string cheese)
Summer sausage
Fruit (a little bit here and picking up more on the road)
Yogurt
Nuts
Gluten-free crackers
Peanut butter

When Elise and Benedict get whiny, we can stop, let everyone stretch their legs, have a snack, and resume our travels.

When we actually get to our destination we’ll get more things for lunches and dinners. I also am making a bunch of homemade granola bars and other little treats that we don’t usually get. Yum yum!

Attractions

I’ve spent a lot of the kids’ nap-time on the Web Googling what to see and what we would be interested in. Happily, I found some places that are low-cost or totally free:

Our destination has a lot of parks – like, HUGE parks. Parks are good for picnics and burning off a lot of energy. Our local parks are tiny, so a massive park will be a whole new treat for the kids to explore and play.
Geology: as a geologist I’m about required to scope out what’s good. The kids are starting to get into rocks and while they probably won’t really care about geomorphology and structural geology, we can find some good rocks to look at. Totally free and we’ll see some awesome scenery in the process. (Note: if you need a good starting point, the “Roadside Geology of ___________” series is TOP NOTCH. There’s a book for every state in the Nation, if I recall correctly. The books point out and discuss the local geology you’d see from a car as you travel through each state. Good for geologists and non-geologists alike.)
Church – we’ll be able to attend daily Mass while we’re on vacation. The nearest parish is 10 minutes away from the hotel we’re staying at. Can’t beat that with a stick!
It helps that we have a local friend that we’re visiting who can point us to all the good stuff that may go unnoticed.

Entertainment on the Road

I grew up in the era where “things to do on the road” included the Slug Bug Game with my brother, general fighting and bickering, the License Plate Game, or my personal favorite: look out the window. We’re not too keen on DVDs in the car (but if you are, more power to you), so we’re anticipating a lot of stops for running around, eating, and general chaos.

I do have the iPod loaded up with some delicious music and some CDs (because that’s how old the car is, it has both a CD and a tape player). I plan on bringing Elise’s Making Music Playing Twice CDs for her to enjoy (and begin to learn the songs, too!). Thankfully the kids are still small enough to nap most of the time, and Elise does like to talk to the scenery that we see around town. I think she’ll enjoy talking to the new scenery we’ll run into.

I suppose the last thing left to do, after all the planning is pack, fill up the car with gas, and go Westward!

We’re almost done!

Kim — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 17:25:37 +0000

I know, I’ve said that about the house for the last two weeks.

We are making much progress. Yesterday we managed to get the kitchen and the master suite move-in ready. We’re busy working on installing trim throughout the rest of the house – and that’s it. The basement still needs drywall, but when that’s done; WE ARE DONE. Major Dad (Greg’s Dad) had me begin to move all his tools downstairs and our of our way. All the plumbing is complete, so the plumbing tools can go. Same with electrical. We are finding out which saws we need for cutting trim and the rest are going away.

Greg’s Mom has her birthday in a few weeks, and I can’t think of a better birthday present than getting out of her basement. Major Dad is back to thinking it will be closer to Christmas before we move in (apparently he’s regretting his overly optimistic statement of being done within two weeks … two weeks ago). Greg and I are of the same mind: we are NOT waiting until Christmas to move in. More like next month! But we’ll see … as we’ve found out, building a house has its own timeframe.

It’s hard to say what will happen first – finishing the house or our vacation. We’re still ironing out some scheduling stuff with the vacation. Ideally, we want to finish the house THEN go on vacation (because then we can use the weekend for traveling) but if not; we’ll make do.

In the interim, I’m busy Googling our vacation destination to see what to do and see without breaking the bank. I’ve found several ideas as well as a guide to gluten-free eating. We don’t expect going out to eat all the time, but it will be nice to go some place that we don’t have locally and know there’s food for the Sweet Elise to eat without getting sick.