Today is the Third Monday of Lent, and I’ve had ample opportunity to reflect on how Lent has been thus far. One on hand, it’s been a harder Lent than usual, thanks to random bouts of Braxton-Hicks contractions, the effects on me physically, mentally, and spiritually that being this pregnant has had, and a few other struggles with myself. Despite that, it has been absolutely phenomenal – I can see clearer and clear the things that separate me from the love of Our Lord but rather than feel overwhelmed by it all, I feel humbled knowing that God is helping me root them out and cast them into the fire, so to speak.

Little One’s pregnancy makes this Lent extra challenging because I’m a hormonal cup of tea and often have false labor. I’m sure you can see how that alone makes for a tired, frustrated person; and it is so easy to use that as a scapegoat and just be nasty to everyone around me. Some times I feel like it’s a giant drag to be faithful to my prayer routine and my Lenten disciplines; but it is at those times particularly that I know I need to pray and do them, and it is in those times that I find the deepest blessings and reap the greatest fruit.

I’m not entirely sure what’s going to happen when Little One decides to breathe air, but I know it will be vital for me to stick with my prayer routine and Lenten disciplines. And I know that God will give me the grace (and energy) to do so, as long as I remain open to Him. He has so much to give me, beyond my imagination; as long as I stay open to Him. He has yet to lead me into error or away from Him … but like most humans, I still find it hard to be open to Him. Or at least, be fully open to Him. I still care (too much) about what other people think, and I know it’s something I need to deal with. And I know what’s keeping me from actually dealing with it – maybe I should spent the remaining part of Lent whittling it away.

One of the books I’m utilizing this Lent is Lenten Meditations with Fulton J. Sheen. Each day has a short quote from Archbishop Sheen, and a verse from Sacred Scripture that reflects what he’s trying to convey. I particularly like today’s:

One of the beautiful effects of hope is that it relieves us of the morbid fear of failure…As pride grows less in us, there is an an accompanying relief from our old terror of humiliation through failure. Once God and obedience to His will have become our all-encompassing desire, fear of the hostility of others completely evaporates; we are ready to be “fools for Christ.” (p.21)

Something worth remembering; for me at least.

Lent officially begins today, and I’ve already had a rough day. I think it’s one part due to pregnancy hormones and one part due to the Other Side not liking what all is going on. Greg, Elise, and I all made it to Mass for our ashes (Elise thought our ashes were OH SO FASCINATING, thank God she didn’t realize that she had ashes, as well!). A very good way to end the day, if I can say so.

I’m trying not to be weary of Lent already, or at least the unrelenting temptations and assorted battles that I have had to face today thus far. I know that I have an entire Heavenly army to help me along my way, not to mention the grace of God is far stronger than anything the Other Side can send my way, but I almost feel like I’m being kicked while I’m down.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new “NOW” to turn back to God and to cling to Him. As long as I keep focused on God, it will all work out in the end.

I think a conclusion has finally been reached with what I’m going to do for Lent. Since I’m pregnant (and my OB has expressed that I do NOT need to be losing weight in this final stretch) and will be nursing; I am exempted from the Lenten fasts relating to food. Or rather, I get to replace the food fasts with a fast of something else, that won’t be detrimental to me or Little One.

Since Lent is more than just fasting (fasting, alms, and prayer, for the record); here’s my plan:

Fasting: The biggest thing that I can fast from that I need to is the Internet. I looked at my largest time-sinks and will be giving those up for Lent, with the exception of News Of Little One. Surprisingly, blogging isn’t a giant time-sink and is quite beneficial to me, so I will be (trying to) write regularly here.

Alms: I want to spend more quality time with both Greg and Elise (as well as Little One, when the time comes). We both agreed that we want to take at least one night a week and devote that totally to being with our little family, including Rosary time, games, and so on. Greg’s going to be in charge of that. I also want to spend more quality time with God in silence – which absolutely terrifies me but I know I need to do so in order to be able to more clearly hear Him. Or at least, not tune Him out which I tend to do from time to time.

Prayer: In addition to my regular prayer routine (now tweaked to allow for me to sleep in and Elise to party in the mornings when she chooses), I want to make a daily Morning Offering and stay close to God by praying “little prayers” throughout the day.

Anne linked up this page about creating a personal Lenten program that I found very beneficial and helped me to decide and commit to my little Lenten program. I also like Aggie Catholic’s Lenten Mega-Post, which has all sorts of answers to questions, explanations about Lent, suggestions, webpages, and so on.

Lent is one of my favorite times of the Liturgical Year, so indulge me in my little “YAY LENT!” before tomorrow.

1.
Worst way ever to wake up: right after having a dream that you went into labor. It’s kind of a let down to wake up to no broken water and contractions and realize it was only a dream.

2.
In some effort to keep up on comments here, I’m holding them in moderation until I have time to respond to them. For the most part, I think it’s working pretty well. I’m making it my goal to respond at the end of the day, so they don’t pile up and up and up and up.

3.
Elise has learned the joys of climbing. I took a video of her climbing on Little One’s box of clothes and was going to post it here, until I realized the clothing box is see through and full of gender-specific clothing. So, cute climbing videos will have to wait until Little One is here, sorry!

4.
And in addition to climbing, Elise has popped two molars out. Nevermind taking care of the teeth in the front of her mouth, she went right to the back. Greg said it’s because we keep telling her “Grow some molars and we’ll give you some popcorn!” when she sees us eat it. Total toof count: 10. ::sniffle::

5.
I learned last night that there is only one force possible on this planet to get my Dad to stop watching “Survivor” – and that’s tell him that My Cousin the Movie Star is on a TV show with her husband. I feel bad though, as by the time I called them to watch her character had already come and gone, but at least they got to see her husband.

6.
Last night Greg and I had our monthly Date Night. We went to a local Mexican place (where the food is authentically Mexican and absolutely amazing), Dairy Queen (the Brownie Batter Blizzard is fabulous), and a grocery store for our favorite snack. I’ve discovered that when you’re gigantically pregnant (and coats don’t zip up anymore), people are really, really nice to you. Or maybe it’s because they’re terrified I’m going to somehow give birth RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

7.
I’m almost certain about what I’m going to be “doing” for Lent. I have two ideas that are quite complimentary, but haven’t fully decided that “yes, THIS is what I am going to be doing for Lent” or not. I’m hoping to have if figured out by Ash Wednesday, but if not; I’ll be taking it up to my spiritual director and letting him decide.

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Jen has more 7 Quick Takes over at her blog.

1.
I got Little One’s Baptism scheduled. Hurrah! It’s scheduled for Divine Mercy Sunday, which I think is a totally awesome day to be Baptized.

2.
Elise and I have been sleeping in and I’m trying (hard) not to feel guilty about it. I’ve been sleeping in pretty regularly now, which I’m assuming is due to being overly pregnant and chasing around a toddler and taking care of the house. Or my body is trying to stockpile rest for upcoming labor + newborn bonanza.

3.
Greg and I are finally delving into the world known as Boundaries. Or rather, we’re getting way more on top of enforcing them. It’s hard, but it feels good and it’s alleviating a lot of potential wank/drama/stress type stuff. Plus, it’s also a good exercise in charity, whoooo!

Need more tales of success? You can find them right over here.

1.
I delinted the bathroom today! Our dryer vents into the bathroom, so I’m forever delinting most of our little apartment. The bathroom is especially frustrating, as lint gets into everything and eventually it’s like walking into a sock, or perhaps someone’s navel. I finally had enough (or maybe had some nesting energy) and delinted the thing. Whooooooo!

2.
After delinting the bathroom, I successfully kept Elise from trying to get into the toilet AND cleaned the sink. Toothpaste, little hairs from Greg shaving, soap bits, and yes, lint; all removed.

3.
At 3:30 this morning, Elise had a giant nightmare and required Immediate Mama Assistance. She ended up spending the rest of the night in our bed, and before I fell back asleep I had the urge to make a spiritual communion. I figured there was a Mass going on SOMEWHERE in the world at 3:30a my time. It was very beneficial spiritually, and I’ve found that at times today when I want to be frustrated / whine or complain / wank; I get that little voice saying “Maybe you should make a spiritual communion.”

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See what others are celebrating over at Faith and Family Live.

With Lent right around the corner, it’s time to start thinking about how we’re going to celebrate it in our little domestic church. The birth of Little One is right in the middle (well, almost) of Lent; so that kind of puts things into a whole new perspective. The biggest question I would like answered is “How does God want me to celebrate this Lent?” What can I do – or not do – that will fill my life with God and thus draw closer to Him?

I have a couple of ideas rolling around in my head, but nothing definite yet.

I plan on looking through The Catholic Home by Meredith Gould and browsing Catholic Cuisine for some food ideas. Looking back, our Advent was very fruitful; even if Elise didn’t “get it” totally. I’m not expecting her to “get” Lent either; but all the activities and foods can help her start to realize that hey, something different is happening. And of course, give us adults that reminder as well.

I was pleasantly surprised today to find a gift card to use at Amazon from Yale University in exchange for answering some questions a psychology research student was asking. Therefore, I expanded my “books to read postpartum” list by adding:

• Children and Parents by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
• Angel in the Waters by Regina Doman (this book is actually for Elise, but I think I’ll enjoy it, as well)
• Favorite Novenas to Mary by Fr. Lovasik
• The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul by Lisa Hendey

I’m also currently reading Acedia and Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life by Kathleen Norris and today received a book that I get to review for the Catholic Company.

I think I’m set on books … for now.

1.
Proud Catholic Mama Moment: Elise absolutely HAS to say “good morning” and “good night” to Jesus every single day. Her greetings to Him include giving the picture we have of the Sacred Heart kisses (and a little desktop crucifix we have), as well as waving and saying “deeSUS” at every image she can. ♥

2.
I’m beginning to accumulate books to read when Little One arrives and Greg’s home on paternity leave (since I plan on doing NOTHING but laying in bed, nursing, and recovering in that time). So far, I have The Privilege of Being a Woman by Alice von Hildebrand, Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood by Sheila Kippley, God Help Me! These People are Driving Me Nuts! by Gregory Popcak, and the book on kindness by Fr. Lovasik that I mentioned back here. Books I have already to re-read are Danielle Bean’s book (see #3), Holiness for Housewives and Other Working Women by Fr. Hubert van Zeller, and The World’s First Love by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. I think that should tie me over quite nicely.

3.
I finished Danielle Bean’s book, Mom to Mom, Day to Day last night. I laughed (a lot), I cried, and I know that this book will be 1) recommended to friends and 2) read and re-read often. A lot of what she talks about I can relate to, and it’s a book that brings with it a sense of relief in knowing that there are other Mamas out there who have gone through the same thing.

4.
I’m really not enthused with the “new money saving” prescription plan we had to change to. The previous plan had no problems with my generic Zofran prescription – one month’s supply, check. The new plan has decided that my need for generic Zofran needs to be “pre-approved” and therefore I only can have 6 pills a month filled. 6. Per. Month. Even though Dr. M writes my prescriptions for one pill a day, they still require “pre-approval”. And honestly, by the time they approve; I’ll probably have given birth. Not to mention that at 33 weeks pregnant, I do NOT feel like battling The All Knowing Prescription Plan People, especially since it’s administered by the state government. ::sigh:: And with as hormonal as I am, I’d probably have a complete lapse in charity and really just rip someone apart, and I’d rather avoid that.

5.
I’m hoping extra B6 in my diet will help. This weekend I’ll be hoarding (rationing? saving?) my precious generic Zofran (5 left, took 1 this morning) and trying B6. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll call up Dr. M and figure out what else I can do that does not involve prescriptions. If the prescription plan is this wanky about generic Zofran, I highly doubt they’re going to like any other anti-nausea drug better. And if the B6 doesn’t work, then the prescription plan people will be hearing from me. Every. Single. Day. until they do something about it that doesn’t involve a metric ton of paperwork and weeks upon weeks of waiting.

6.
I’ve started with that delightful pregnant lady waddle. I never had that with Elise, so waddling is still kind of cute and novel to me. My belly also has a dedicated pillow in the bed with me, also something I never needed with Elise. I’m sure in about 2 weeks I’ll be sick of waddling, so be sure to ask me again how I feel about it!

7.
I’d like to use my last “quick take” to mention how amazingly awesome Greg is. In the throws of morning sickness, he never once has complained about changing a poopy diaper/emptying smelly trash cans/cleaning a toilet or doing other tasks that smell bad or are not visually appealing. Every morning for the last who knows how many months he wakes up at 6am, and brings me a glass of water for my Zofran. He gladly takes Elise in the evening so I can have a bath and relax, and rubs my back any time I ask him to. He is rock solid in his faith and we have many deep conversations about things in our faith lives, such as the darkness that I’ve been experiencing. He can explain things to me (usually about heresies and Latin, thanks to his college courses) as well as answering random questions about history. He would really clean up in Trivial Pursuit.

He really is an awesome husband and sometimes I feel like I take him for granted; so this is my reminder not to as well as my opportunity to brag about him.

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More Quick Takes are available for your perusal over at Conversion Diary.