Transitus Tiber » Pregnancy

Merry Christmas, Babies

Kim — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:45:08 +0000

So, it’s Christmas.

It’s been a fun Christmas, except for that dull ache inside me. It’s so hard not to have that ache, when the entire world is focused on the birth of an Infant. It’s hard not to think “boy, I would be 32 or 36 weeks pregnant right now … we would be preparing for our own baby.”

Yes, I have had multiple crying meltdowns over it all this past weekend. It’s so frustrating, especially since some people (well-intentioned) are beginning the “so, when are you going to have another?” questions.

How do you tell them that without injected blood thinners, carrying a child to term is a risky and (as we found out this summer) sometimes fatal proposition for the unborn baby?

How do you tell them that you’re now on a few medications that make having a baby Really Not A Good Idea – and that it may stay that way for a few years.

How do you tell them about the ache inside, the desire for another baby but the realization that it’s just not in God’s time right now?

How do you tell them about the isolation you feel? How you have to ‘get over it’ or ‘keep it together’, depending on who you’re with? How you (still) feel like a freak of nature, and that no one really understands (unless they’ve also been through multiple miscarriages). And that the next time you do become pregnant (God-willing), it won’t be this happy joy-filled time, but rather a time of close medical monitoring, needles, and heightened anxiety?

I’ve found you can’t, rather just hope they don’t notice the misty eyes as I mumble something along the lines of “It’s not the will of God right now.”

To our dear sweet babies, who are so patiently waiting for us in Heaven; pray for your poor Mother who aches to hold you so intensely right now.

And to the Mothers who have walked this extremely painful and lonely road, pray for me. And I am praying for you.

The Cause of the Miscarriages

Kim — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 14:49:14 +0000

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from my doctor’s office. The results of the thrombophilia panel finally came in. And incredibly, it revealed the cause of the miscarriages: Factor V Leiden.

I was (and still am) in total shock. After the second miscarriage, I talked with my parents about their respective family histories, whether anyone had clots. No one had. We simply assumed that there were not any blood clotting problems in the family, and went from there.

Next time I become pregnant, I will need to have injections of a blood-thinner. Once again, I received the “as soon as the second line shows up, call us” talk. For now, I don’t think I need to do anything; but I am going to call my doctor next week and see if I should take a baby aspirin during the non-pregnancy times. The nurse may have mentioned what to do in the non-pregnancy times but I really don’t remember much of the phone conversation at this point.

I am so grateful that we at least KNOW now about the FVL. My worst fear was that all the bloodwork would come back and everything would be normal. Deo gratias for answers!

I finally am having negative pregnancy tests, and my doctor said that after 2 months after I recover from the D&C (still working on that), we are FREE AND CLEAR to become pregnant again. Yay!

Now that we know that, I am ready to move on.

Baby Update: Not So Good

Kim — Wed, 18 May 2011 14:27:21 +0000

Last night I had some major optimism when the spotting went away for a couple of hours. However, it returned around 10pm last night and has steadily progressed to light bleeding, to moderate bleeding with some slight cramping.

Everything is pointing to miscarriage, despite seeing what we should be seeing yesterday. I haven’t actually passed anything other than just blood, so that’s reassuring (to a point). The bleeding is really stressing me out.

I am preparing myself that we are indeed miscarrying, but hoping and praying for a miracle.

Jesus I Trust in You!

(Sidenote: Greg is home from work today, so I am not going through this alone).

Prayers for our newest addition?

Kim — Tue, 17 May 2011 23:11:42 +0000

Okay, so I had all these great ideas for writing this post. In fact, I started hinting about it – that’s what those two medical appointments are about. Obstetrical appointments. BABY APPOINTMENTS!!

Any and all posts I had written in my head disappeared this afternoon, when I began spotting. And not ‘old blood’ spotting, either. New blood spotting. I called my OB, who had me come in right away. We chatted, and since I had an ultrasound scheduled this Thursday, he opted to have it done today. We were hoping to get more answers, instead … not so much.

The good news is that there’s nothing abnormal. And the best news is that we saw a gestational sac and a yolk sac (at least, the ultrasound tech thought it was the yolk sac). Dr. M says that is 100% NORMAL for this stage, and it also means I am super early along. I’m shocked because I got a positive pregnancy test on May 2nd. That baby glowed, let me assure you.

At any rate, he had some blood drawn to check my HCG and progesterone levels. If the HCG and progesterone are good, he’ll redraw on Thursday to make sure everything looks good on that front. So, we’re in a waiting game.

Good news: we’re seeing in my uterus what we should be seeing for an early pregnancy. I’m nauseated, tired, moody, and the like.

“Bad” news: I have to wait still before feeling less on edge. And of course, we don’t have a due date (the ultrasound machine wouldn’t give us one yet).

SO, get out your Rosaries! Let’s storm Heaven for our little Bean, that he or she sticks around and arrives in January 2012!

St. Gerard, pray for us.
St. Bernadette, pray for us.
Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us.

Jesus, I Trust in You!

Milestones (in no particular order)

Kim — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 23:06:54 +0000

Milestone #1: Elise is back on the growth charts!! She had a weight/height check on Tuesday, and we were shocked with just how big she’s grown. Since August she’s gained three inches and three pounds (I’m sure the bulk of that was since November, since we went gluten-free). The doctor’s FNP suggested we give her a test for Celiac, but we declined since we know she can tolerate barley OK but not wheat and that in order to get accurate results we would have to give her wheat for 2 weeks and then test her. Why put her through that when regardless of the results, we’ll just keep her off of wheat? Perhaps when they did that round of bloodwork at her two-year appointment, but not now.

I’m sorry, I’d much rather have THIS child:versus her rashy, run down WheatFilled Self.

(Dress is a thrift store find, vintage, new with tags. Fits her quite nicely!)

The problem with her growing so well is that she is having some pretty gnarly growing pains. “Mama, mah knee, it hots.” she tells me. When it gets bad, we snuggle under a blanket and read stories. I found A Pocket for Corduroy at the thrift store and it’s her new favorite book. ♥

Milestone #2: right before all the excitement of my mom and Greg, Benedict took his first step unassisted. Granted, it was one step and he hasn’t repeated it; but hey, it counts. He prefers to crawl, but once it clicks that walking > crawling for a variety of reasons; it’s all over. I am enjoying the last few weeks of Crawling Baby before he develops into Walking Baby (Toddler?). I can’t believe his birthday is in … 3 weeks. It seems like only yesterday that I was gigantically pregnant with him.

+++

March will be a busy, busy month. In addition to Lent starting, there are … five birthdays we’re celebrating (me, Major Dad, Greg, Benedict, my nephew), Saint Days, and appointments. I’m already working on March’s Feasts and Festivities, just so I don’t forget anything! But, hopefully March will welcome Spring (I am so sick of the snow, I couldn’t handle it on my blog any longer) and Spring will welcome our house completion. While we were gone, Greg’s Parents got the rest of the bathroom in working order. Now it’s just finishing drywall, installing flooring, heaters, fixtures, and painting. So close, yet so far away!

Seven Quick Takes, Ancient Computer Edition

Kim — Fri, 14 May 2010 20:59:42 +0000

1.
Yesterday was the day in which the kids took loooooong naps and I had everything done that needed to get done, but instead spent their naptime working on trying to fix my computer. Long story short: Ubuntu 10.04 cripples (and I mean cripples) my 2005 Compaq, and a downgrade to 9.10 left my wireless incompatible with functioning. I gave up and decided to switch distributions to Linux Mint which has been zippy on my little Compaq and I gave Greg the duty of getting my wireless up and running on Mint (which he did in about 1/2 a second). Yesterday I had ideas popping into my mind that would be good for a blog post, so I figured I could turn all those ideas into a 7 quick takes.

2.
E-Talk 2010: while she has a lot of words that she can say, she has 2 that she says without prompting (as in, “can you say ___?”) Those would be “joosh” and “MamamamamamamMAMAMAMAMAMAMA”. I have heard her say “fahhht” and I cringe the day that becomes an unprompted word. Especially since Ben is still very gassy. I have an inkling it will happen either during the most silent part of Mass, or when she’s talking to Monsignor or the Bishop.

3.
If you could spare some prayers for Benedict’s Godparents, that would rock as they are expecting and due in October (and I’ve been meaning to post this for quite some time). :X

4.
This week, the kids and I have made it to Wal-mart, Target, the Post Office , and another store for various needs. Now that I have it figured out on how to go to stores with just the kids, we’re about ready to move Benedict to his convertible carseat. That should be delightful since the van only has one sliding door. There’s going to be a lot of climbing going on (unless we move Elise to the back row of the van, hmmm).

5.
And speaking of Going Solo with the Kids, Greg has a business trip next month. Anyone want to give me words of wisdom on handling two kids without Papa for like, 3 days straight?

6.
Before I had to downgrade to Ubuntu 9.10, I was working on a template for my blog. I had a local installation of WordPress so I could dink behind the scenes and get it PERFECT before pushing it to the server. I backed my hard drive up but only grabbed the “home” folder, and the theme files were sitting in NOT the home folder. ::sigh:: Thankfully I have a good picture in my mind of what I was doing (which was going widget crazy with a template I found in the WordPress Theme Directory) so I should be able to restore it pretty easily.

7.
Tomorrow Benedict turns two months old. According to our scale, he’s about 13 pounds, 4 ounces – which is how much Elise weighed when she was 6 months old. No teeth yet but he still doing the weird nursing thing at times and is calmed by teething tablets. I’m at a loss.

——————-
Catch more Quick Takers at Jen’s place.

Welcome to the Church, Benedict!

Kim — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:15:16 +0000

On Divine Mercy Sunday (so, this past Sunday) our little Benedictus was Baptised, thanks be to God. It was fantastic, as all Baptisms are. My cousin took photos and once he gets them to me, I will post some of my favorites. Benedict slept through the whole thing, and especially liked it when Fr. T rubbed the chrism oil on his head. If there’s one thing this kid loves, it’s belly and head rubs.

My personal favorite part of the Baptism (apart from well, the Baptism) was the son of Benedict’s Godparents saying “Blow! Blow!” as soon as the Baptismal candle was lit and handed to the Godfather. I managed to keep it together, despite wanting to burst out laughing.

Benedict still smells like the chrism oil … am I the only one who absolutely LOVES the smell of the chrism oil?

My parents were unable to make it to the Baptism, due to Dad leaving on a business trip (again) and my mom not being able to make the drive on her own. I’m a little bummed, but that’s how life is sometimes. Despite their absence, it was still a holy and festive day.

Our Newest Bundle of Joy

Kim — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:52:26 +0000

After a seven hour labor, 15 minutes of pushing and 6 actual pushes; our beloved Benedictus has arrived! He was born at 2:44am, weighing in at 8 pounds, 5 ounces and 21 inches long (a pound heavier and 2 inches longer than Elise!). Labor and delivery was absolutely amazing and just … wow.

I don’t know about y’all; but I’m off to babymoon! Thanks be to God!

The News I’ve Been Waiting For…

Kim — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 05:22:17 +0000

… I’m in labor! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We’re already in the hospital (totally agree that dilation happens MUCH faster the second time around), and Little One should be here soon, God willing.

All you holy angels and Saints of God, pray for us! :> : > :>

And any prayers you readers can spare would be appreciated, as well.

The Waiting Game

Kim — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:38:29 +0000

I did this with Elise’s birth, and I had a lot of fun with it; so may as well do it again. As noted on the ticker to the side, I’m down to the last week before the due date. I don’t have an induction scheduled but the Feast of the Annunciation is as far as I can carry the cutie for a plethora of reasons (so an induction would be shortly after that date, but not before). That gives about 2 weeks left to make those infamous guesses – gender, weight, length, birthday.

All I’ve been having in terms of “hinting” about going into labor is cramping. No checks for progress yet, thankfully (not that it really makes that big of a difference, anyways). You can record your guesses here and when the time finally comes; we can see who all was closest. I wish I had some sort of a neat prize or whatever to offer whoever “wins”, but consider it all in good fun nonetheless.

Thanks for humoring this (very) pregnant lady.